What I learned about myself this week.

Jealousy, Emotions,

Here recently, jealousy has reared its head in the most unexpected ways.  I was caught off guard. I’m not a jealous person I thought. I’m just mad at my husband for playing mobile games excessively. I’m just mad at the P.T.O. for my time not being good enough for them. I’m just mad at….. everything. I’m no longer happy, although this is insane I continuously tell myself, I have everything that everyone wants in life. I have a husband who loves and supports me 100%. I have two kids who are amazing and try so very hard to please everyone.

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But, that is not what is playing in my head. It is a constant repeat of how sure, I could try to do that, but I will never achieve anything from it. How I can work all day but it doesn’t matter to anyone and I mine as well just give up. I’m not good enough at anything to matter anymore. I questioned if my children would be better off without me. I try very hard to be the best mom that I can, but I am nowhere near good enough in my own opinion.

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Every day, all day, in months my life went from manageable to near suicide. The overall blow of losing my job and becoming injured brought on such a depression. Such an empty hollow feeling. I would become angry to see my husband or kids happy doing something without me. I feel as if I turned inside out as a person. I used to be happy, easy-going, with the marriage all our friends are envious of. It seemed like overnight it was all gone. I was mad, jealous, sad, lonely and confused. Why couldn’t I shake this? Sure I had gotten a moment of depression here and there, but nothing like this.

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After a major explosion between my husband and I, I saw the realization that I was placing blame on the wrong person. It was not his fault that suddenly, I had lost my self-esteem , I clung to him to fill this hollow feeling I felt when alone. But, this was not working. I was getting worse every day and it began to consume me. I spent my time instead of working, worrying that my husband was going to talk to with anyone but me. Everything began to suffer, my relationship with the kids, friendships, my appearance. One night, I told my husband that either I find and fix what is wrong or it will literally kill me.  Again I’m the luckiest girl in the world as I had him and my mother to talk with me through this difficult time.

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We discussed why I was mad. I couldn’t place anything other than my self-esteem issue. I promised that I would begin researching this subject the next day and begin to work on the problem.  Little did I know I was not mad, I was jealous. I was jealous of what others had, of what I was lacking, of friendships my husband has, games that bring my kids hours of joy. I was allowing the Jealous green monster to control my life. I didn’t even realize what was going on.

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I started researching the next day. I researched anger, jealousy, self-esteem issues. I began to write how I was feeling. I am learning how to recover at this point. I had never experienced allowing jealousy and depression to take over my life.

Self Esteem - Jealousy - Motivational Quote Vertically Challenged Mom 8

I am so very grateful that I was able to pull out. I remind myself every day that while I will never be a perfect mother, they would rather have me and all my faults than not have me at all. The kids don’t even know that I feel I’m not good enough. To them, I am the person who pours the juice, get’s them to school and tell them that I love them every night.

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I have realized that I am not a person who is separate when I am a mom, blogger, wife, friend, alone, or in public. I am one person who is environmentally aware, politically informed, mom to two of the best people on this planet and a wife in a once in a lifetime relationship with my best friend.

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I truly love this Actualized.org his videos have taught me so very much. I like that you don’t necessarily have to view them because it’s just him and a plain background. I can listen to him while I work. And it’s time I get to work. I see that I have wasted too much time in my, deep breath, self-pity. I have a hard time typing that because I feel self-pity was not what I experienced. I have felt self-pity on a day I drop my ice cream cone. That was not what this was. I feel that I have just gone through a world war in my head. I’m exhausted mentally, I’m destroyed physically, and my relationships have all suffered. I have to reprogram or as I like to put it, plug-in a new theme.

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I know that I can fix this situation and bring it back to the happiness and joy that my life really is. I do know that I am better than what I put myself, through not only that, I love my family and would never hurt them intentionally. And when I lose my self-worth, it hurts them mentally. I am a very smart person. I no longer want to feel this way. I can change this, I can see the good in everyone else. Today, I will stop pushing blame on anyone. Including myself. Today, I will begin observing situations, and doing what I can to improve any situation I come across.

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I also starting meditating. I really think that along with my exercising, my diet has improved 1000% in the past few months. I have gone through all of this without taking any medication. I actually hate having to take any type of medicine. lol, I’m worse than the kids. But I began to understand why, an addict if they feel the way I felt, chooses to use vs feeling that green eyed monster. I have learned that I have to take control. I am continuously reminding myself how I feel and noticing how I feel.

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I have never been able to speak up for myself, always having that fight in my head “sit down, shut up, no one wants to hear you.” It will be so nice to be able to speak while I am feeling emotions. I always break. I start to cry, stutter, become incoherent. I look forward to removing this haunting shadow in my life. I look forward to being able to discuss politics with people. To talk about how I feel with my friends much more than I ever do.

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Thank you so much for reading my blog. I hope that if you feel this way, maybe it lets you know that you’re not alone. I felt so empty, so hollow, without ever even knowing why. Days after my mental war, I am piecing it back together. Putting my schedules back into place. Kindling relationships that were hanging on by threads, accepting how I feel at all times. Talking about how I feel as I experience it. Observing my behavior and what triggers my anger. I’m looking forward to living the rest of my life without this horrible feeling of self-doubt. 🙂

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Thanks for visiting my hodgepodge of a blog. This blog has become not only my career but also my link to sanity. 🙂 All of my images have been borrowed, please support the original creators by checking out their work!

**UPDATE** I’ve noticed so many times Jealousy has become relevant in the past week. Please keep checking back as I will be discussing this topic more often.

Memorial Day Picnic, Barbeque, Veterans

Memorial Day Barbecue and Picnic Ideas

This memorial day weekend, make sure you have all of the fun picnic games and a bit of fun decor never hurts! I put together a collection of both memorial day barbecue and picnic ideas, but I also have included a few charities that could really appreciate some acknowledgment this memorial day. I have included multiple types of charities, I do not endorse any one individually and do ask that you research fully before donating. A small contribution from everyone at the picnic this weekend could really accumulate to a larger donation. Perhaps I will set up a Memorial Day Charity Jar and the kids will be able to count, deposit and make the online donation so that giving to charity on Memorial Day becomes a tradition. I hope everyone has a safe, happy and family & fun filled Memorial Day!

 It’s always better to have a blocker between you favorite shirt and the grill. If aprons aren’t really your thing, just make sure to keep a wet rag around so that you can easily wipe your hands off during your “grill time”. Otherwise, the probability of walking around with barbecue sauce on your butt or shirt where you wipe your hands on increase by about 95%. LOL.

Memorial Day Grill Apron

Mission 22 is helping change lives for the better. Soldier suicides are at an all-time high and it is a heartbreaking statistic that very few individuals acknowledge, let alone discuss. This Memorial Day you can help a veteran who’s very life could count on it. Mission 22’s website can be found here.

Mission 22.jpg

You can follow them on Facebook HERE.

Yardzee! Now this is a game that everyone can get behind! I love to play board games but I can never convince friends that it will be fun. I think Yardzee is going to turn this around! I cannot locate the origin of this photo, if you know who it is, please let me know, I would love to thank them. Plus, this is a game that both kids and adults can enjoy.


This is a national tragedy that no one is talking about. Each of these soldiers had families that they left behind. Families that will not be taken care of unless we reach out and help. I know we all pay our taxes, now it’s time we start to pay for what freedoms we do enjoy and the sacrifice that these individuals have had to endure for us to do so. We need to help the soldiers before it ever gets to this point, but let’s do everything we possibly can to save who remains.  You can find the Stop Soldier Suicide website here.

Stop Soldier Suicide

You can find them on Facebook HERE.

After searching the internet for a while looking for a kid-friendly beverage that I thought the kids would go for and I have discovered via BuzzFeed this enticing beverage by Mom Endeavors for the full recipe click here. This beverage is super colorful, has adorable little Twizzlers straws and I think that it will be a big hit. The only problem is the glass jars around here is just asking for trouble, so I think I’m going to go with clear plastic instead. Let me know what you did or what you think!

Kid, Beverage, Memorial Day, 4th of July

The Hidden Wounds is a wonderful group of individuals who are working to promote mental health awareness for our soldiers and their families. You can find out more about them on their website by clicking here.  They have tons of ways to not only donate, but also to volunteer your time to help bring awareness to PTSD.

Hidden Wounds.jpg

You can find them on Facebook HERE.

If you’re feeling particularly feisty this Memorial Day, Perhaps a beautiful patriotic hat will suit you perfectly. All the neighbors will be envious of this terrifically nonsensical hat that is sure to boost your parties morale. I think it would be terrific to wear while shopping for the picnic.

Memorial Day Hat

The Fisher House houses veterans and their families while they are seeking medical attention. It is so very difficult for families to have a medical condition in the family. Money quickly becomes tight, medical care can be difficult to find and long distances away. It is exceptionally exhausting to witness your loved one in pain or struggling. Any way that we can help will benefit this organization. I do appreciate how they allow you to donate rewards from hotels and credit cards. So you don’t have to pay out cash, but your bonus points can add up to keep a family in a hotel at night.

Fisher House.jpg

You can find them on Facebook HERE.

 Hum, ya sure we can say that this is for the kids. Lol, I feel my inner artist bursting at the seams to get this going!  Seriously, How will this not be fun? I do wonder how I can keep them from painting each other. Yes, I get that parental supervision is important I will wrangle a few parents into supervising this activity so that I don’t get called away and it becomes a mess! Fun idea, though. I have also heard about water painting, where you use just paint brushes with water. I know that will occupy the six-year-old, I’m going to have to find something different for the 11-year-old.

Summer activities, Summer, Kids, Fun activities,
Thank You Simplify Live Love, this is a great idea!

Disabled American Veterans Auxiliary  is one of my favorite charities that I have found. They have volunteer opportunities for not only the V.A. Hospitals but they allow you to volunteer even to help a veteran by grocery shopping for them or helping clean up their yard. In my opinion, if this charity works out as well as they are showing on their website this could be one of the quickest and most rewarding to help your local veteran. Please let me know if you volunteer with them. I think that I am going to sign up as well and I will make a blog post about how it goes! You can visit their website by clicking here.

Disabled American Veterans.jpg

You can find them on Facebook HERE.

I love these Blue Tortilla Chips, so I think I’m going to mix them with white tortilla chips and then serve them with this delicious looking salsa! We can really pack away some chips and salsa with our group, so I already know that as a snack it’s going to go over great! I think that making it from my garden fresh  organic tomatoes, onions and cilantro. I’m sad that my jalapenos are not ripe yet, but I will be making this recipe again later in the fall in a large batch.

memorial day, 4th of july, holiday,

Thanks, Craft  Aholics Anonymous

This courageous group of individuals on a daily basis are trying to make it better for Veterans who are coming back home. Not only that, they are adventuring out into their communities to help out others. This weekend, I would love to make a memorable moment for these heroes and bring them the acknowledgment that they deserve on a daily basis.  Remember your holiday is going to be great, let’s make someone else’s remarkable by just donating a few dollars. It seems these creative individuals will find the best way to see that spent. BTW, if you want to cry tears of joy because there are people like this left on the plant, please click on the link below. 🙂

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You can find them on Facebook HERE.

We love cake around here! I absolutely must post our chocolate cake recipe, but until I do, here is a link to a good Chocolate Cake Recipe.  I personally love to decorate cakes although, at this time, I’m not very good at it! I have learned how to make the large roses and this is a basic frosting tip so it’s not hard to find. I bought mine on amazon.

Memorial Day, 4th of July, Independence day, Red, White and Blue.
Red White and Blue Memorial Day Thanks, I Am Baker! I can’t wait to make my own!

Camp Corral is a wonderful camp that allows children of wounded, disabled and fallen soldiers to attend for free. They accept donations and you can contribute here. Our soldier children truly need to see how the regular citizens really appreciate the sacrifice that their loved one has given.  They have 23 camps in 19 states, check out their website here for additional information.

Camp Corral

You can find them on Facebook HERE.

Memorial Day, Beverage, Summer beverage, alcoholic beverage
Thanks PunchBowl.com 

Red, White, and Blue Sangria

You’re going to need:

Strawberries, sliced


Pineapple cut into star shapes

2 bottles dry white wine

1 cup Triple Sec

1/2 Cup berry-flavored vodka

1/2 cup fresh lemon juice

1/2 cup simple syrup ( Sugar melted in water 1 cup sugar to 1/2 cup hot water)

Combine the ingredients in a large pitcher and stir. Chill in the refrigerator for at least four hours.

Memorial Day Picnic, Barbeque, Veterans

Fireworks, Friends, Family and all things Fantastic but most of all, Do not Forget our Fallen, which is the true meaning of this holiday. Thank you so very much for checking out Vertically Challenged Mom. I love to hear from you, please let me know what your memorial day traditions are. If you are a member of any of the organizations or know anything about any of them, please let me know! Have a fun and safe holiday!

Hip Hugger Thinx Panties

So, Thinx about it!

I reviewed Thinx Panties, and I’m in LOVE! 

So, I stepped out of my comfort zone. I am an introvert, who has only gotten worse as I have gotten older. But in this case, I saw what I wanted and I went for it. To set the scene, I was at home one day and I just so happened was I was scrolling through Facebook when I came across an article for Thinx.  Never hear of thinx? You are not alone, trust me, thought the wonderful technology of Facebooks algorithms for marketing directly to me, I wouldn’t know about this either. I refer to Thinx panties as the astronaut suit of female clothing. Seriously, this product is out of this world! I promise that I won’t cross any gross or yucky discussion lines in this blog post, I promise! Also, btw Thinx are going to be every Dad’s best friend, no going to the store having to buy tampons for your daughter!

Okay, so I ordered a pair for myself and one for my daughter, who has not started her period yet, but I figure, hey if they work, I would feel much better knowing that she was using a product that is non-toxic and does not come with the toxic shock syndrome risk that tampons have. Also, with the rumors of round up being tested for and acknowledged that it is in our tampons, I want a different option. Pads are a girl’s worst nightmare. I don’t even want to have to introduce this nonsense to my daughter. I swear it feels like you’re wearing a grown up diaper. They are embarrassing to wear, make noise when you move, have worse leaks than tampons and make you constantly question your appearance for days.

Hip Hugger Thinx Panties

She picked out the boy shorts and I got the hip huggers. Best money I have ever spent! I will be building my collection of panties from Thinx because they were terrific! I had a day at home so I tested them out. It was a serious day and this was serious business. I wore them longer than I typically will, but I wanted to test all boundaries when I was in a safe environment. Outstanding results! They quickly surpassed all expectations. I am so grateful to the creators of this product. They have great collections so that you can purchase multiple pairs and get a discount.

Click here to get $10.00 off your first order.

Thank you for visiting Vertically Challenged Mom. Please check out the rest of my site where I have gardening advice, photography advice as well as post about life in general.
*All images are from SheThinx.com

*This post was a request of mine. I am not affiliated with Thinx. If you purchase from the links, I may receive credit. This did not alter my opinion in any way.



Vertically Challenged Mom Wilderness Wildlife Week

Wilderness Wildlife Week is coming up soon! Top 5 things you need to know!

Vertically Challenged Mom Wilderness Wildlife Week

Wilderness wildlife week is coming up Coming up May 18–22, 2016 in Pigeon Forge, Tn. This is a great event each year! They have photography exhibits, information on wildlife and hiking, how to keep, care for and enjoy the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. There are a ton of vendors offering unique items that you cannot buy in a store. You can find all true Great Smoky Mountain people at this event! It is held at the LeConte Center at Pigeon Forge As a photographer, I love to go see others work on display. They have a large photo competition that we have always enjoyed looking at. This year both my daughter and son will be entering along with myself for the first time. I am not a nature photographer by any means and I have a week deadline to create and print, but I do love a deadline and a challenge!

La Conte Centere Pigeon Forge TN
La Conte Center in Pigeon Forge Tn

5. Do your research before ever arriving. Multiple classes and seminars are held throughout the week and you don’t want to miss your favorite. Our family chooses the one day with the most that we want and we try to go with that, although there have been times where myself or my husband went back for a seminar. Most seminars are held in large rooms that are adequate for children, but it’s boring to them honestly unless it is a subject that kids are interested in. Perhaps if you plan on attending a seminar, bring quick and easy activity to occupy children. They do host children based seminars that they enjoy attending as well. You can get your copy of the schedule here.

4. Prepare for traffic. Traffic is always busy in Pigeon Forge, especially in May,  so be ready to sit in traffic both coming and going from the event. There are multiple locations to eat, get gas, even stay near the convention center. Make sure to give yourself enough time to get stuck in traffic just a bit. If you go early or even later in the afternoon, you will miss the large rush right at opening time.

3.  Prepare for your excursions! Everyone must be ready to go when the group plans to depart. At the destination where the event is scheduled to begin. Make sure to wear appropriate clothing and shoes. Check with your schedule to make sure how long your event is and plan to be there until the end.

 Vertically Challenged Mom

2. Get those images ready! If you plan to enter the photo competition, here’s what you need to know. No pets or people allowed in the photo! Must be nature related. They have a Youth, Amature, and Professional categories.  Print deadline is soon so if you plan on mailing them hurry! Don’t forget your self-addressed envelope so that you get your prints back.  There is a ton more info on this that you can find here at Wilderness Wildlife Week Photo Competition 2016. Cash prizes are awarded to the top three images in each category.

  1. HAVE FUN! Yep, it’s a requirement. You must have fun while at this event! I prepare in advance with kids, someone is always hungry, thirsty, or needs a nap. So, we try our best to make sure that we have eaten right before we get there. They do have food, I just have impatient people who don’t like to stand in line when something interesting is just around the corner. So we check food off our list fast. We have a great time walking along through the vendors and I hear that there is going to be so many more venders this year! Be ready to walk, talk and bore your younger kids. We try to make it as much fun as possible.

Wilderness Wildlife Week Pigeon Forge TnI truly thank you for visiting my site! Please check back often, I publish quite often and this crazy family is always up to something! In case you’re interested, I have recipes, tips on photography and gardening.  I would love to hear about your experience at Wilderness Wildlife Week. Did you bring kids? What was your favorite? My daughter is hoping that the author John Rose who wrote the comic strip Snuffy Smith is there again, she wants to show him that she has practiced her drawing. You can follow me here on Pinterest where I have more information or here on Instagram where I will be posting images and video during the event.